lawak....(peguam kejam)

peguam kejam


Seorang peguam berpendapatan RM 700 ribu sebulan tetapi tak pernah bagi derma. Satu hari, seorang wakil rumah anak-anak yatim datang berjumpa untuk meminta derma. Ikutilah diolog mereka:



Peguam: Awak datang nak mintak derma?

Wakil: Ya.

Peguam: (Tengok wakil atas bawah) Awak tahu perihal ibu saya yang sakit di wad dengan kos perubatan RM 300 ribu sebulan?

Wakil: (Takut-takut) Tak.

Peguam: Awak tahu pasal abang saya yang cacat, buta dan lumpuh yg hanya terlantar di rumah dengan kos hidup RM 100 ribu sebulan?

Wakil: (Makin takut) Tak.

Peguam: Atau awak tahu pasal kakak saya yang kematian suami dengan seorang anak yang mengalami sakit kronik yang memerlukan kos hidup RM 150 ribu sebulan?

Wakil: (Menggeletar, takut giler la ni) Tak. Maaf saya tak bermaksud....

Peguam: Kalau mereka pon saye tak bagi duit, kenape saya nak bagi duit pada anak yatim tu?

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lawak....(Tips Reject Awek)

Nak reject pompuan susah, takut nanti dia frust dan bunuh diri, jadi guna dialog ni



1) Semalam I check dengan doktor, dia kata I HIV positif...

2) Kat telinga I ni ada suara suruh I bunuh diri..

3) U nampak tak mamat tu... (padahal takda orang pun kat situ)

4) Adik beradik I ada 10 orang, semua belajar lagi, I kena sara diorang sebab parents I dah meninggal...

5) I dah keje kat 20 company, tapi paling lama tahan pun 2 bulan je...

6) Hari-hari along cari I, hutang dengan diorang dah mencecah 100 ribu...

7) Tiap2 hari I melancap, sehari sampai 10 kali....

8) Errr, sori, terpegang pulak....

9) Lupa nak bagi tau u, I ni duda anak 10

10) Ish, kalau nak kawin dengan U, I kena ceraikan bini I yang ke 4 tu, sian dia....

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Shah Rukh Khan Promote Malay Traditional Dress, Baju Melayu

Bollywood actor Shah Rukh Khan, in traditional official black Malay costume and songkok, after he received his Datukship from Malacca State Governor Mohammad Khalil Yaakob in Malacca, on Dec 6

Garbed in his tailor-made, black cekak musang baju Melayu (high collared traditional Malay outfit), the 43-year-old looks dashing albeit leaner (due to a hectic work schedule which includes the promo tour for his latest romantic drama, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi). (Thanks to Shah Rukh’s hard work, the Aditya Chopra-directed flick has bumped up movie ticket sales in post-blast Mumbai by 60%.) But still, this man has a body that is tailor-made for hero roles.
Even his baju Melayu fitter, Ridzuan Kamal can attest to it. “Shah Rukh is very fit. Even though we’ve designed his baju Melayu based on a body-hugging T-shirt that he sent us, I have to add 5cm to 7cm to the measurement as he’s wearing it, so that it fits nicely.”

It doesn’t matter if he encountered a bomb threat at the Mumbai airport shortly before departing for KLIA, or a torn ligament that’s causing him excruciating pain. Shah Rukh says nothing can stop him from wearing the baju Melayu, samping (wraparound waist cloth) and songkok (headgear), and meeting his fans in Malacca.

“I am very happy that I’ve found a big space in the hearts of the people here,” he beams proudly. “I cannot repay my fans for what they have done for me. They have given me so much love, and that love has taken me to where I am today.”

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Facial Treatment Essence

Skin Balancing Essence.Women everywhere are so passionate about Facial Treatment Essence that they describe it as their 'holy water.' Pitera, the seemingly magical ingredient found in all SK-II products, helps restore vital balance by promoting the skin's natural 28-day surface renewal process. This singular blend of vitamins, amino acids, minerals and organic acids produces a seemingly miraculous rebirth of skin's appearance. Over 90% pure Pitera, Facial Treatment Essence is the 'heart' of every SK-II skincare ritual. Rely on it daily to moisturize instantly, and renew skin's surface for a smoother texture. Skin absorbs the benefits almost on contact.The result is supple, smooth, radiant skin.


APPLICATION GUIDE

Sprinkle about a teaspoon of Facial Treatment Essence into the cupped palm of your hand. Rub hands together and press gently and evenly onto face and neck. Your skin will absorb the Essence quickly and naturally.


http://www.sk-ii.com/products/facial_treatment_essence.php

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Kasut Tumit Tinggi, Buat Wanita Seksi! YAKAH???

A great shoe can win a day for you!!" Ni bukan sia punya
statement, but a statement from Chief Editor of Cosmopolitan, Kate White! Yakah?
For all this while, sia a bit heran dengan kebanyakan sumandaks yang mesti ada
banyak kasut. kalau tinguk dalam derang pinya almari kasut, macam kedai kasut ja
nampak. Tapi menurut ni urang (Kate White) dan kebanyakan urang, Aura or
infatuation (apa maksud nie). Ada aura kah? I keep on asking to myself, kenapa
women, especially yang young and gemar dengan fesyen, perlu ada banyak kasut?
Macam nda cukup dengan satu atau dua pasang kasut ja. Tu baru bilang kasut, blum
masuk sandal. adui...

Sia mo tau juga, kenapa hi-heel ni istimewa sama sumandaks? Sia rasa only
women could answer that. Sebab sia nda pandai paham juga. Ramai yang mengakui,
bila derang (women) pakai hi-heel, kunu-kunu buli mencetuskan rasa seksi secara
semulajadi. WHAT??? Kunu bila derang berdiri and berjalan tu rasa seksi
semulajadi timbul. Sia tinguk kadang-kadang seksa ja derang jalan tu. Ada yang
komplen sakit kakilah, sakit lututlah, sakit ankle lah. Sia nda nampak mana
seksi dia. Mungkin pasal derang "tepaksa" berjalan perlahan-lahan,
buat derang nampak seksi, ayu and segala-galanyala. Derang nampak tinggi,
walaupun derang sebenarnya rendah. Okaylah



Sia nda pernah anti or protes women yang suka pakai hi-heel nie. Sia cuma
owez tertanya dalam fikiran sia, nda terseksa kah derang terpaksa kontrol kalau
bejalan? Mistilabah mo controlkan. mana tau, sambil jalan pakai tu kasut
hi-heel, tepelecetkah, tepeleot kah, malu juga. Seksi-seksi sekali nakahandai.
adeh... mira muka! Ahaks. Seksa yang timbul ni sia rasa buka saja dikalangan si
pemakai, women tapi juga urang disekeliling dia. Sia pernah kana injak pakai tu
hi-heel, infact baru-baru nie and mimang parah. Mula-mula nda sakit, sekali bila
malam, dei, pinya sakit. Bengkak, biru hitam lai. At one point, mo bejalan pun
susah. Dei... Mo marah pun nda buli, pasal macam mana ko marah pun, kasut
hi-heel ni mimang uda kana sebati dalam naluri seorang perempuan. Macam uda kana
blend. Bah mimang pun. Kasut hi-heel ni direka khas untuk urang perempuan.Tapi
ada juga "lelaki" yang pakai tu. Sia tau! Satu ja sia mo tau. Sepa
bah pencipta hi-heel nie? apa tujuan dia cipta, at the first place?



As i say earlier, sia ndada masalah dengan women yang pakai hi-heel. Same
goes to my koupusan. Dia mimang suka pakai hi-heel. Sebab dia, kena tanya dia
sindri. Wekekekekeke... tapi mimang siksa lah. Wakakakaka... Apapun kepada
sumandaks-sumandaks yang baru mo venture dalam bidang pemakaian hi-heel ni,
pandai-pandailah pilih yang sesuai dengan stail dan fesyen kamurang. Sia ni
minang nda tau apa-apa tentang hi-heel ni. Dalam pikiran sia, mo gergaji ja heel
dia tu... Wekekekekeke. Jan kerana dia nampak cantik, trus mo bili. Tinguk juga
tempat kegunaan dia. Takan mo pigi pasar mo pakai hi-heel yang melampau-lampau
tinggi dia. Tu mo kana umban pakai ikan basung tu.



KaDuS Bilang:

Selalu sia nampak di TV yang hi-heel patah bila temasuk di sono penutup
manhole yang uda retak atau petutup parit yang diperbuat dari bisi tu. Wakakaka...
PAtah! Adeh... kalau tekana yang mahal? Ndakan rugi? pandai-pandailah kamurang
kio... WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!!

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Tuxedo Jeans

James Tuxedo Jeans

Create an offbeat suit by pairing the jeans with a slim shirt and tailored blazer.

"Twiggy," James Tuxedo Jeans, $123, Tony Walker & Co., Williamsville, N.Y.,

Call: 716- 430-4003

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Flared Jeans

Tommy Hilfiger
Flared Jean
Emphasize the '70s allure of this cut with officewear-gone-sexy pieces: stacked heels, a curvy vest.

Light Wash, $98, Tommy Hilfiger, Flared Jeans. Call: 212-223-1824

Shimmer Leather Platform Shoes, "Teagan," $198, Coach, COACH.COM
"Extreme Sexy Bootcut," Flared Jeans,

$70, Gap, GAP.COM

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Cargo Jeans

Express Cargo Jeans
Vince Cargo Jeans

Choose flat, streamlined side pockets—they're more flattering—then mix in girly details for a sweet gamine aesthetic.

Ankle Length Cargo Jeans, $225, VINCE.COM

Metallic Leather Flats, "Fate," $160, Farylrobin, ENDLESS.COM

Skinny Cut Cargo Jeans, $60,

EXPRESS.COM

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Trouser Jeans

Not Your Daughter's Jeans
Keep with this style's crisp feel by adding all-American items, like a button-down and classic jean jacket.

Stretch, $118,

Not Your Daughter's Jeans, Trouser Jeans,

NYDJ.COM For Stores



Goldsign "Manila Slouchy"


"Manila Slouchy,"

$229, Goldsign,Trouser Jeans,

Call : 323-923-1249

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Skinny Jeans

Calvin Klein "X" Jeans



To complement your skinny jeans, go for a downtown-cool effect with layers of frilly, flouncy, vaguely retro tops.

Gilded Seam Detail Skinny Jeans,
$100, Calvin Klein "X" Jeans,

CALVINKLEINJEANS.COM

Guess Brand "Daredevil," Skinny Jeans, $89, GUESS.COM



Guess "Daredevil" Jeans

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